I've decided to dump more random thoughts on you this week in a format similar to Larry King's old USA Today articles, so if it sounds disjointed, that's why. It's a good way to clear out the 'mental shelf space', as I call it.

   *I was always thrilled when John Buscema would guest-pencil an issue of FF or Avengers, but I resented that he devoted most of his time in the '70's on that icky Conan comic for so many years (My friend, Brath and Thor artist Andrea DiVito is probably booking a ticket from Rome to Florida to kick my butt upon learning this). As Conan had nothing to do with the Marvel Universe, I had no interest, what can I say? Now, if he joined, say, The Champions or something, then I'd accept him wholeheartedly.

   Conan: "Why is this woman allowed to listen in on our plans to crush our enemies? My belly aches from hunger-can she not get us some suitable food?"

   Black Widow: "Listen, you sexist throwback, maybe in your time, that treatment of women was acceptable, but if you address me like that again...I can assure you...

   Black Widow: "...You will know the sting of the Widow's bite!"

   Hercules: "Ho! What sport!"

   Conan: "..."

   Iceman (thinks): "It's time for Iceman to quit this combo. I'm not cut out for this superhero gig!"

   Ghost Rider (thinks): "Despite the tension between Conan and The Widow, I can tell nobody in this team trusts me yet!"

   Angel: "Conan, we don't crush our enemies, we bring them to justice!"

   Angel (thinks): And I'm paying for all this with my parent's fortune? Things were much simpler in the X-men!"

   Might've made a fun issue of What If ?

   *Am I the only one who loves the smell of freshly-poured blacktop on the street? I know this may seem to be a disturbing preference to most of you, but I associate it with all the long walks I'd make to the various convenience stores that carried comics during my youth, usually during the summer (Pittsburgh was too darn cold to fix the roads during the eight-month winter). I'd have all summer long to pound the pavement in search of the latest elusive comic to fill the hole in my collection.

   *Bravo, or one of those snooty cable channels is promo-ing "The Graham Norton Effect", which I guess is a variant of his BBC show "So Graham Norton'. I tried making it though one of his shows, and he's hardly more interesting than our own tepid TV talk show hosts. We don't need to import more lame-o smug boys to chat with third-rate celebrities.

   *Speaking of snooty shows, I find Inside The Actor's Studio to be the most pretentious borefest where these Hollywood idiots make the art of acting sound as crucial as Jonas Saulk's discovery of the Polio vaccine. However, if I were to ever be in the position where I can be interviewed on TV, I'd want the embarrassingly reverent James Lipton to do it. One thing in Lipton's favor, is that he does goof on himself on other shows like The Simpsons, so he can't be that much a stiff.

   *Back to comics: My cousin Sean was, and still is, a fellow comic book enthusiast who waxes poetic about our joy of the medium. As kids, we would trade or buy comics from each other, as distribution was spotty in ' the old days' before comic specialty stores. If I bought the latest Invaders comic, he's nudge me to sell it to him, since I could easily get another copy up the street, as I had many more comics-selling stores near my folk's house than he had at his. Despite this logical transaction between Sean and myself, I would never buy a new copy of the comic I just sold. Instead, I had to buy a completely different comic that I never read, in my quest to read as many comics I could consume during my waking hours. then I'd be annoyed at the hole in my collection. Yeah, I had the comics bug bad.

   *Larry King has gotten away with murder with this little trifle of a column format. I may do this in the future.